Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Modesty: Not Just for Women

I was talking to a friend today who led to a hot button topic. She stated that so often women in the church are exhorted and commanded to "be modest" in dress, attire, etc. and that there seems to be SUCH a list of commands for us women, but what is the contrast for the men?
This gets me irked, because while it may be easy for guys (and girls) to point out a woman who may be dressed immodestly, it is more challenging with a man.
First, let me state that I believe that men are immodest when they fail to recognize that a woman's heart is delicate and do not seek to learn what it means to honor and respect a woman. This is not as obvious as immodesty in women, in fact I think this calls men to a higher standards because it is not about the outward appearance as it is about a man's heart in interacting with a woman. A man leads in so many aspects and few men recognize themselves as leaders. Yet, they set the tone in a conversation and relationship.
I do not want to get into specifics about what a man should or should not do or talk about with a women. I have had conversations about this with some men and get various answers, the honest truth is that it is at the heart.
Men: what are your thoughts and intentions towards your sisters in Christ? Are you looking for a potential girlfriend (or wife) or are you looking to love, serve, honor, guard and build up your sisters? Can you surrender the hope for a girlfriend/wife for the delight in loving your sisters well? Don't know how to do that? Why not ask a married man you truly respect.
A note to my sister: we are just as responsible to guard our hearts. What entangles our hearts? What causes us to think wrongly about our brothers - stir up more questions then it should? We may need to stop hanging out in some situations which may not be a problem for others (I know I did). Can we surrender the hope and desire for a boyfriend/husband for the aim of truly loving our brothers well?


"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" Phil. 2:3-4

1 comment:

  1. Rachel, You wade into water that I have not often seen discussed. Very good insight. How men approach the heart of a woman is a challenge needed. I need to view the heart as fragile - treat it with respect and honor

    ReplyDelete