The Need of Rest

This week I came back from Spring Break and as people asked how it went I answered - good balance of rest and work.
Apparently, I did not rest as well as I thought because this week as I started classes I found myself quickly exhausted. Not fun. Also not fun because I've realized so clearly that when you are tired you are much more susceptible to spiritual attack, discouragement and more. Again, not fun.
So I've come back to the point of recognizing one's physical health and sanity is important - it's not just about the spiritual and emotional.
God cares about every aspect of your life - a good lesson to learn (and relearn) now.

Preparing to Pray

I am preparing to preach in a few weeks on Daniel's prayer in Daniel 9 and am amazed by it. No wonder it was answered AS he was still praying (Daniel 9:20-21). Wouldn't we love that? I mean, God can still act in the same way he did with Daniel, though I don't know what I'd do if an angel came in response to my prayers. Honestly, I don't think I pray specifically and as humbly as Daniel to warrant an angel coming.

Regardless, here are two insights from Daniel in his preparation for prayer:
- Daniel prayed informed prayers. Daniel searched out Scripture (Dan. 9:2) so as to know the time the Lord appointed. Do we? I feel we so often will go into a situation - pray for a church, leaders, unreached people group, etc. - and expect to have impact with little knowledge and vague "God bless them" or "God, heal that person." We need to know what we're praying about and seek God's will so we are praying in accords with it into a situation. Need to know God's will? Search Scripture - see how God acted in similar situations or seek out the truth of the promises he proclaims.
- Daniel entered seriously - he fasted as well as prayed (Dan. 9:3). When's the last time you cared to receive an answer that you actually fasted? I have to say this personally resonates with me in that this past summer I was finally at the place of longing for a husband that I spent time fasting for him - for some other things as well, but definitely for my future husband. As I look back I simply am shocked at how quickly God answered that time of fasting and prayer. If you are really craving an answer, do you crave that answer more than food? Do you crave God's presence more than food? I don't know how or why, but I know that when we get serious about a prayer to the point of being willing to give up food this stirs God.

I hope these provide blessing and encouragement as we journey deeper with the Lord and learn to pray in line with God's will.

On Conflict

Magnus and I fight. Or you could say "experience conflict." In the early days of our relationship this freaked me out. How would things work if we were in conflict this much? And occasionally my concern went to - will things actually be resolved? This was frustrating considering I had, in the back of my mind, the thought that God told me he was the one.
These are some of the things I learned through the process (and hold onto when we fight now):
- Conflict (or fights) are not bad. They bring up issues that needed to be talked about. We would talk about them instead of avoid them and while it was frustrating, it was good to be honest.
- Different people have differing amounts of conflict. When stressed about how much conflict we were having, one friend shared this insight - "He's fiery, you're passionate; you're likely to have more then the 'average' amount of conflict." But that's part of what I love about him, so why should it concern me so much?
- Resolving conflict is key, but it may not take one go. We fought about/discussed the same issue more then once. Thankfully, there was a series on marriage going on at my church at the time where the pastor confessed to the the fact that it would take him and his wife a few times talking about something before it was fully resolved. It gave me freedom to continue a discussion - not pick a dead issue, but to say "We missed something" and talk about it a little more.
- Timing matters. I picked some bad times to start discussions that led to conflict. I'm still learning this. It's a hard balance because when I want to talk about something it feels SO urgent to me, but I need more grace in learning to hold back and love him well and wait until there is a good time for BOTH of us.
- Humility is essential. Honestly, I think Magnus demonstrates this a lot more in our conflicts then I do. He's patient with me, willing to listen, and more than willing to admit when he's wrong.
All these have helped me trust God and Magnus more as conflict comes up - I know he's brought us together and I know the Holy Spirit is at work in Magnus to convict him (as well as myself) in areas where growth is needed.

Insight Into A Class (and a challenge)

I am in classes here at seminary (well, technically on Spring Break) and there is some learning going on. Some. I've been studying this week for a midterm (which I took earlier today) and one of the questions was on the concept of general and special canonical revelation. General revelation is the fact that God has revealed himself through creation and man's conscience (Romans 1:19-20, 32, 2:14-15). Special canonical revelation is the fact that God speaks to humans in their language to reveal aspects of His will, especially regarding salvation (Acts 4:12, 2 Tim. 3:15).
What really got me was the fact that there is not a third category, which I think there should be. Special revelation was focused on salvation and left a question in my mind - what about dreams people have that lead them to pursue salvation? What about the fact that God still speaks to Christians today to reveal his will (as he did with me in regards to Magnus)?
I wonder if there needs to be a third category of "special revelation" that states that yes, God still speaks to his followers to reveal his will - yes, this needs to be tested against Scripture, but when we neglect it don't we miss out on the depth of relationship Christ wishes to have with us?
Just my challenge to the status quo. God's actively involved in our lives and the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow - so why do we make less room for him and expect less involvement then he had in the days of Scripture?

"Small" Holidays

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. I didn't really celebrate (just like I'm not really observing Lent). It's sad, because as a nanny I took every opportunity to observe these "small" holidays - primarily because they provide such a rich opportunity to share the gospel. We would have green cupcakes and Irish Soda Bread, but we would also talk about Patrick and his willingness to share the gospel with people who had imprisoned me.
It amazes me how "busy" I suddenly become in the "grown up" world that I let these opportunities come and go. Yet, these opportunities come around every year - do we seek them out and make the best of them with the opportunity they provide for the gospel?
As a daily matter, are we in tune with how God's at work in our lives so that we can share when asked?
Or are we too busy? Is our focus on the gospel and taking every opportunity to share it with those around us - friend, family, or someone working at the store - or are we absorbed in our own wants and needs?

Over Spiritualizing?

I had the thought yesterday that I may over-spiritualize things. Here's the reason: when having a bad day, hit with news the shakes me, feeling sick or something negative happens I tend to search out and question whether or not it is a spiritual attack quite often before taking other things into consideration (my natural tired-ness, emotional sanity, etc.)
This feels like a very un-American, anti-scientific approach so I squirm at openly stating that I do this frequently. But does this reflect the reality that Paul states in Ephesians that we do not wrestle with flesh and blood but with cosmic powers and spiritual forces (Eph. 6:12)? Other countries seem to understand this concept much better then Americans as they have an understanding of Hiebert's "excluded middle" in terms of believing in spirits and that these different spirits can impact our lives - in both positive and negative ways.
How do we as Americans seek to cultivate this awareness? Am I crazy for considering spiritual reasons first - or should they be a second thought effort? I'm not totally sure. I'm seeking to come to a balanced middle on these - being aware of them but also considering natural causes, but am not yet there.
In the mean time, I will not neglect the spiritual realities of this present world and seek to understand how they may impact - both positively and negatively - my life. My God is greater and has total dominion... but that does not mean that I'm excluded from the battle. I'm in the middle of the battle and may receive some hits, so knowing how to defend myself (Eph. 6:13-18) is tantamount in being successful.

Immersed

So this last weekend I ordered the second book in the Hunger Games trilogy - Catching Fire - and upon receiving it consumed it. I read it most of the afternoon/evening on Friday and finished it on Saturday. It's one of the books I just can't put down (same deal with Harry Potter series).

Saturday night I then DREAMED the book - not fun considering there is much dying in it - and woke up Sunday realizing it might not be the healthiest thing for me. Plus, I got more then a little sad at the end of the book - it was like a good friend was leaving me without telling the end of her story... like I have to hold my breath and wait till I have the time to read the third book.

Nothing super-profound came out of this time but a realization that I do need to make sure I have fun and enjoy life... and the caution that I have to be careful what I immerse myself in as in, maybe not the whole book in one weekend... or maybe the whole series in a weekend?  Hmm... it's a good thing that Spring Break is coming up.

Can Americans "suffer well"?

"Americans don't suffer well" so stated Arlene Richardson as her second point in chapel today on suffering. Hearty amens went out throughout the crowd. We, Americans, are poor at suffering. Look at the rest of the world - they truly know suffering. Yet, I can't help at wondering if we really should look around. Do we fail understand how to suffer well because we have not had hard circumstances or because we have not chosen to embrace the hard circumstances around us?
I would lean towards the second. I believe American Christians do not suffer well because we have not seen lived out in front of us how to embrace suffering - not unnecessarily pursue it, but embrace it when it comes.
Some of the reasons we do not...
- we have a small view of God; a view that God is to make us happy. We don't trust that God will truly do as He says and work it for our good. Yet, four years after facing deep suffering in Indonesia I can rejoice in the lessons God taught me there and know that there would have been few/no other ways to learn them. He was good to teach me those things and my character would not be what it is today without them.
- we also have a bad view of hardships/inconviences. We view them as uncomfortable as opposed to conforming us to God's image. Do we take advantage of bad traffic to thank God for teaching us patience? Not likely.
- we aren't honest about our hardships. We often feel like they may us look weak. How often would you share that you've suffered a miscarriage and are questioning God's goodness openly and honestly and trust that he will see you through (my friend did so on her blog sharing her testimony, yet she also shares the uncomfortable doubt stage).
- we don't believe discipline can be for our good. Similar to the first point, do we see the big picture which includes our maturing and the goodness of God? Lots of faith required in that.
We can learn to suffer well here and now, we just have to change our perspective of what suffering is and learn to embrace the suffering God has placed before us.

The Holy Spirit at Work

One of the coolest things I've seen in dating Magnus is how God puts similar things on our hearts. When we were first dating I really wanted to have more time to pray with Magnus and so I prayed and asked God how to tell Magnus or even just TELL Magnus. The next day Magnus comes up to me and says "I'm not sure if this is from God... but I think we should be praying together more." I quickly let him know my prayer and was happily surprised to see God at work in that way between us.
I was reminded of this again Saturday at the Night of Prayer and Praise. It was a time of corporate prayer - for the school, the profs and for revival. I felt God pressing on my heart to pray for repentance - that repentance must come before revival. As I was thinking this and contemplating going up and praying for this, Magnus leaned over and said "I think God's given me a word for the school - we need to be repentant before he will bring revival." This clearly confirmed what I was feeling and went up and prayed. It was cool.
I think that's one of the cool, often neglected/forgotten aspects about dating (and then marriage) - God can confirm and encourage one and the other in the same direction. We are brought together so that together we may do more then we could apart. And that involves recognizing the same Holy Spirit is at work in both of us - so why wouldn't God put the same thoughts, ideas and dreams on our hearts?

How I Knew (written by Magnus)

With Rachel’s blogs going up I figured that I should respond to how I knew Rachel was going to be my wife. First off God still speaks to his people to those who still seek Him. His words did not stop going into existence at the closing of the canon. Second God does have specific plans for his people this includes spouses the key is to being intimate with the Father in your quiet place.

            When I first met Rachel I was very attracted to her and naturally tried the regular things to do. I asked her for ice cream and she said no. I offered her a copy of my dad’s message from a church and she said no. Everything I tried in the natural failed even though it would have appealed to her flesh, which is what I see most men and women do. When I realized this was not going to work I prayed virtually everyday in the summer for her while she was away. Then one day I was in my room and this presence which I believe to be an angel or the Holy Ghost told me “she was the one.” But I was still not sure who “she” was.

            Later I was looking at her facebook and the same presence came as I looked at her pictures. The third encounter was when she was speaking at chapel and the presence told me to keep my eyes on her. Then one day I was prostrated in the prayer towers wondering if I should go after her or not. Then this voice said “pursue Rachel” and I did and I prayed.

Later, after I told her I was interested in her and we were out talking and she wanted me to ask her out I took her back to her apartment, dropped her off and prayed and prayed. Then I heard this voice say “ quit being a ding-dong and ask her out” this freaked me out but I called her and went back and told her what happened and she said yes.

            This was how I knew supernaturally but from just being with her she just looks at me with so much grace and undying love that I just know. For those who are waiting I challenge to be more intimate with God and for those who are pursuing in the natural means say coffee, dates, etc… I urge you to stop operating in the flesh and go by the spirit if you do not have the experience of walking in and by the spirit then you have another issue altogether and need to reevaluate if you truly know God and not if you had asked Christ into your heart, but rather if you have been filled with his presence.