Live Where I Am

I am getting to spend this week with "my" kids and besides being reminding of how tiring it can be to be with kids, I have been reminded of the preciousness of being content where God has me. Being with "my" kids I've been able to talk with them about Jesus, goof off with them, and teach Sarah to crochet. That is where God called me for a time, and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.
But now God has me somewhere new, and how blessed I am to be here! To be following God, walking with him where he leads and how he leads. Following his schedule is scary - there are so many uncertainties. It can be easy to look to the past and wish for how things were or to look to the future and dream of what may be; but God has called me here, now.
God has work for me (us) to do where we are - are we ready for it?

Come and Worship

Last year while with Sarah and Matthew and out on a walk with them near Christmas time we started talking about Christmas-y things - presents, Santa and Jesus. I stuck on the thought that Jesus came as a child, then I asked them if they would want to be a baby again. There response was a quick and decisive "no." I love children's blunt honesty. As I contemplate Christmas, I don't usually fully dwell on the fact that our God chose to become a helpless baby. He chose to put himself in a place of dependence on others. He chose to empty himself (Philippians 2).
I hurry and scurry about and think of the blessing of Christmas, but not necessarily the cost, the humility to be helpless, born in stable, and have only shepherds come to acknowledge the king of the universe's birth.
As I get older, Christmas feels more forced, more of a time to do things then to contemplate Christ. Yet, surely the years should not deaden my heart to Christmas, but liven it. Surely growing deeper in love with my Savior should cause me to seek to delight in the truth of who he is and all he gave for me; all he gave up in coming to earth. Seeing the greatness of what he did, the beauty of who he is should stir me, should stir all, to come and worship. Then, how can we not go and tell of the wonderful news that Christ came for us?
Come and worship... go and tell.

Random

I don't feel like I have anything to say, but I feel like I should blog. I know, I'm a little crazy. And that's ok with me.
Done with the semester I'm enjoying being back around my family and especially getting loved on by "my" kids. There's just few other ways to get such joy, especially around the holidays, then to be with kids.
I was delighted that I was able to share the "Story of the Candy Cane" with them... and not just be able to share it, but have both of the kids recognize why a shepherd's staff would be relevant or why white would be a good color to depict Jesus. It's such a blessing to be able to go back somewhere and sort of see God still at work, see how God used you for a moment in time. I feel so blessed.
The pull of the holidays can be stressful - there are so many emotions both good and bad that can easily be stirred. But above all we are to remember Jesus, remember our great God. Remember that he willingly came down for us, that he gave up everything for us. Remember the gift he has given us. When we serve a God this great, willing to give us so much, everything else seems so small in comparison.
Come, let us worship and bow down.

Finished (in a way)

I finished my first semester at seminary - what a blessing to be done! You know the ridiculous thing? Upon being done I picked up a book I hadn't had the chance to finish during the semester (Knowing God by J.I. Packer) which just amuses me because it's a real heady book. I can't escape it - no matter how "done" I'll get with school work I'll never be done learning.
And you know what? The most relevant things I've learned have come outside the classroom. They've come in seeing God working in the lives of friends around me. Of getting to see how God's used my hurt, pain and experience to teach me important lessons about him and then use that to love others better. Basically, it's come from seeing God at work.
I hope and pray that will never ends because it delights my heart to see God on the move, to see him working in and through people's lives and to have the privilege to be a part of it. May God never cease to amaze me or show me how wonderfully above and beyond my imagination and comprehension he is.

World Christian: Purpose

When I first heard the term "World Christian" I was in Indonesia in the middle of the chaos of my time there. I had met friends who were hosting a course called Kairos which is a condensed version of the Perspectives on the World Christian Movement course. That term captivated me and that course opened my eyes to the Bible and what it has to say about missions in a new way.
Up till then I had known missions was something important - something Christians everywhere should engage in as Jesus had commanded it in the Great Commission, but I had never realized that God's heart for the nations and his glory to spread throughout the world traced back to Genesis. I never thought about the fact that God used the world history since the time of Acts to continue to spread his name and glory to more and more peoples. I had never realized how many different people groups there are that do not have people to share the gospel in a way they can understand.
A World Christian, this course taught, is one who is aware of God's heart to reach all nations and acts on that; one who is captivated by that vision. I was (and am still) all in.
Coming away from that course, and Indonesia, I felt like I had learned so much and was called to act. How can you fail to act when the God of the universe has shown you his heart's desire to reach all peoples? I came back and have been bumbling around since; seeking to align my heart and life to the truth of God's Word and to the passion of his heart. I have been seeking to be used by God however he desires to bring glory to his name and reach as many of the unreached as possible.
God has used many things to slow me down, to remind me that he is ultimately Lord of the universe and I am simply one of many. Of that I am thankful. There are still many things God has yet to teach and show me, but he has given me a passion for him, his glory, and the unreached.
That's part of what so excites me about being a part of World Christian Week which will be happening March 1-4 here at CIU (shameless advertising). People will hopefully (and prayerfully) come and be moved in seeing God's vision for the world. They may hear new things or learn new ways of how to be involved in reaching out to all nations. Whether you are to stay in the states or go overseas, working among the reached or the unreached, we all have a part to play in spreading God's glory to all nations.

Silence

I've done it again. I got to the point where it's been so long since I've written a post that it's a bit awkward. Thankfully, this time I have the excuse of school work, much of which included writing giving my brain little space to write other things.
I'm finishing up my semester and looking forward to the winter break - being able to relax and see my friends. In finishing this up, I'm looking at what classes to take next semester and am still in flux; which, quite frankly, makes me feel awkward to write about. I always feel a little intimidated in saying "I'm not sure" or "I'm still praying about it." I feel like there should be a sure, godly answer that comes in quick answer to prayer. But that is not the case for me in deciding these classes. Part of the decision process involves considering what degree I may want to pursue - there are some courses that if I pursue a certain degree would be required, but if I decide not to simply would not matter.
So there you have it; I'm still undecided. Still uncertain. Still waiting on God. Putting it like that makes it sound a bit more reassuring, but admitting uncertainty is still a scary prospect.

Here and Now

It is December and I am sort of dazed that the semester is almost over and not quite feeling like I am back at school. But the reality is that I am, and that I have another full week of classes and then finals. Only then can I rejoice in winter break.
I was in my Old Testament class today and was struck by a wonderful truth: God really knows what he was doing in bringing me to seminary at this time. I know, crazy to think of that now, right? But as I'm here sifting through what will be next, contemplating what to study, dealing with health issues as well as processing this whole transition I see so clearly that being here where the Word is constantly preached to me is a blessing. It feels like anytime I've come to a place of struggle or confusion I've been provided with a new and fresh reminder of God's love and grace through classes, professors and friends. He has brought me to such a safe place to be in this time of transition. What a great God we serve.
So as I continue to seek "what's next" and seek to follow God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, I can continue to rejoice in his goodness and grace and have confidence in his leading and wisdom.

Random

After the long, crazy Thanksgiving week I am back to my "real life." Though it doesn't feel very real because in three weeks I'll have a semester break and will head back to the DC area. I am so in flux.
I drove back today and got in to see my apartment beautifully decked out for Christmas! Yay! With a blink of the eye the Christmas season is upon us. I don't know if I'm ready.
I'm really honestly just rambling right now. I don't have anything remarkable to share. Driving by oneself without a cell phone is NOT fun, so I think I'm overcompensating by rambling randomly. And I can. Because it's my blog. Ha!

Thankful for Family

This will be a little bit of a risky post because my family mostly (if not only) reads this. You see, families are challenging. I don't just mean my family specifically, but every family (in some big or small way).

Part of the huge challenge I've discovered is that I tend to regress when I go back to my family. I go back home and spend time with family and it is so easy for past hurt, pain and heartache to be stirred up. It's not even done intentionally, but sometimes there's just that trigger and I'm launched into the past without even realizing it - overreacting to things and blowing things out of proportion.

My tendency mostly with my family is to be a coward and to be insecure. Not that blogging helps the second AT ALL; I just feed it and assume that people who may be somewhat interested will actually read it. Ha.

Anyways, my cowardice mostly manifests itself in wanting to make people around me happy and pacified. Those who do not know me within my family may be surprised at this, but with my family I just don't want the conflict. Period. It takes guts for me to say what's really on my mine and to speak the truth... and then the heart-ache of the matter is I usually do it so harshly that it is not heard or received. I swing from one extreme to another.

The other issue, that of insecurity (which I dislike that term, but it seems so understandable) is nothing short of unbelief in God's truth. I cease to believe God's truth about who I am and who he has made me to be. I cease to believe that he loves me beyond my understanding and start to seek praise and approval from those around me. I get prideful and self-centered, seeking others approval; I brag about what I've done well and feel I talk about myself a lot. I'm yearning for some approval that I think will make me feel better, but will truly never satisfy because it's based on people and not on God.

Why am I saying all this? Because family is hard for everyone, regardless of how wonderful your family is.  God created the family with a purpose and a function - to teach us about sin and himself. And whatever states our families are in, they always challenge us to grow. They always reveal those sins that are anchored deep down, that we may not notice or reveal to friends, so they remind us of our imperfections, and of God's amazing grace.

That's why families are challenging, but that's why they are so good and such a blessing. They force us to recognize our sinfulness and to rely on God's grace and powerful in deeper and deeper ways.

Home and the Past

Going to the DC area always feels like "home" to me. I feel so blessed to have a place that feels like home, especially after meeting and getting to know so many TCKs and MKs. I love being able to see friends and family and just reconnect to where I was.

One of the things I have struggled with in looking at the past (where I was) and what I've done is that it can sometimes stir up a lot of emotions - good and bad. This is often overwhelming, but what God has really been reminding me is that I'm not done and that these emotions are normal; it's more about how I handle and deal with the emotions and the issues God reveals. It's easy for me to get really caught up in these old emotions, to run over everything that happened in the past and get stuck there. But I must strive to look at the past and remember what God has done and how he has healed me, yet know that he is always growing and teaching me and that I'm not done. Nor will I ever be. But God is good, and he will not cease to complete the work he has done.

My thanks and praise to my great God.

Our God is Bigger

Today I shared in chapel about my time in Indonesia. To say it was challenging to prepare for is an understatement. Every time I practiced sharing I would break down in tears. When I actually got up to share I not only broke down in tears, but was also visibly shaking (think paper in hand that could not be held still). I sort of felt bad for everyone who was watching and listening. But hey, it's life.
I think the most amazing and blessed thing that came out of this was to be able to see how God used it. I mean, my story from Indonesia is basically one of pain and suffering coupled with God's healing and restoration. I have seen how he has used my time in Indonesia and the pain and suffering to shape and grow me in such amazing ways, but to even imagine that he could use it to encourage and connect with other people... just astounds me. But that's what he did. God. Used. Me. He used my pain, hurt and heartache... and my utter honesty about it. I am so thankful for that. So thankful that my God chooses to use the hurt and broken parts in our lives for things greater than ourselves.
I guess I know what I'll be saying I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving :)

Holidays and Distractions

Today I ordered a Christmas gift. It made me cringe a little to order a gift this far before Christmas, but in reality I have already started making some Christmas gifts. In fact, I started back in September. Before Christmas, though, we celebrate Thanksgiving. In a week I will be on Thanksgiving break which I am very much looking forward to. The truth that Thanksgiving break is coming soon is not lost on our professors as they have been gracious in realizing that we do not want to do school work over the break, so they have assigned our papers due before the break. That means more work for us (me) to do now. Sigh.
The work I have to do SHOULD be occupying my thoughts and efforts, but sadly it is not. Since we are so close to the end of the semester I am looking more and more at what options I have for classes next semester, what I will do over my breaks (maybe study Hebrew?), and realizing that I am about 1/4 of the way through my degree. Wow.
I have also discovered that Facebook and blogging are great tools to distract oneself from the imminent school work.

Remembering Truth

So I sat down and wrote up a little post Friday and right before I was going to post it ended up deleting it. I know; people with more tech experience then I would have been able to resurrect it. But not I. And so I am left debating trying to retype what I wrote up before or deciding to move on to something different. Aren't you just at the edge of your seat listening to my internal monologue? Let's move on and say that it was not the time to post that thought. Life keeps moving forward. Right now I am trying to figure out my schedule for next semester and working to finish up the papers and projects of this semester.
Through all this I am constantly amazed at how God continually works in my life. He's convicted me of sin and reminded me of his love and grace. He is pursuing me and he won't stop. But that's not just true of me. He's pursuing everyone. I think I forget both of these. I forget that he is passionate in pursuing me and so do not realize that he is passionate about pursuing others.
I forget that he wants to extend grace to me and so forget that he's just as eager to extend grace to others. I especially forget this about those who do not believe the truth of the gospel. I forget that God has created me for an intimate love relationship with him as he has created everyone for an intimate love relationship with him.
I've realized that in order to share these truths I must truly believe them. If I expect others to be drawn to God's grace and truth, I must be drawn to them. If I expect other's to experience God's grace, I must not hammer myself with guilt or shame but humble myself and accept what God so freely offers to all.
Check out David Crowder Band's song "How He Loves" for a wonderful reminder.

Pictures!

This past week has been filled with lots of fun adventures, so I thought I'd post some pictures. Enjoy!

This is from the first few weeks... we had a table where we reclined... like Jesus! It made us feel so holy :) Don't worry, we have all our furniture now.... finally.

These are from the retreat we went on. It was a great time to get to know people... but the best part was that I got to sleep up in a loft!! My friend Meg is in the top picture, we met the first night when we both were not able to go into our apartments.

On Wednesday it rained. Can you tell? We had been hanging out at a Pablo's (my next door neighbor pictured in the top photo) and then Jean (who I'm next to in the bottom photo) suggested we go play in the mud. Amazing fun.

I was delighted to learn that people DO dress up for Halloween here! Wahoo! Costume party!

My roommate, Abbie, and myself. It's been great to have her as a roommate!

Seeing God at Work

Going home this past weekend was a blessing. I could spend the whole post raving about how great it was to reconnect with friends, see "my" kids, attend Cherrydale's missions conference, and visit with family.
I think the most awesome thing in it all, though, is how when being removed from a situation and then visiting you are able to see God at work in so many different ways.
I have had this privilege in small ways with  friends in Indonesia that I met while I was serving there. These friends were in town and I was able to see them the Thursday before I left for home. I love getting their updates because when I was there I was able to see so much need and now I hear of so many ways that God has moved and worked in Indonesia. It is exciting to hear and to think that God may have used some of the prayers I prayed for the Indonesian people now in advancing his kingdom and changing lives.
At home this weekend, I had similar glimpses. I got to hear how God is at work among the Azerbaijani, but more than that I got to see how Cherrydale has grown in their heart for the Azerbaijani people. I got to connect with friends and just listening to their stories was able to hear clear evidence at how God is at work in their lives.
I don't love being away from friends and family. I miss them terribly at times. But I am delighted that God allows me these glimpses into their lives - to see how they have changed and grown, to see and hear how prayers I may have prayed months or years ago have been answered... and how he's allowed me to join in the work he is doing here and around the world.

Never Done

After having that interlude of silence, I wanted to get on the blog post as otherwise I would likely go another long week plus without writing anything. Not that it would be awkward for any of those reading, but it would again be a blog post about awkwardness in silence, and that would be boring.
This week I was reminded of the fact that we are never done - never done working through our stuff, never done with the hurt and pain, never done learning and growing. It's a scary thought for me in some ways to realize how much progress I have yet to go, how deeply some things I learned growing up are ingrained into the fiber of my being, and how much God simply want all of me; he's not content with just part of me.
I am constantly amazed at the different situations God allows in my life to grow me and make me ever more his. And usually they're quite painful. I usually don't realize the full impact of what's going on in my life until I'm a good way into the middle of it and it doesn't always come as a fun realization, more of an "oh, God has a lot more to teach me <big sigh> ok... I think."
But there is so much hope. As a friend said to me "The hard times are the growing times" and that excites me. It really does. It excites me to know that God isn't done with me, and that he's not happy to just leave me where I am. It excites me to think that he's intimately aware of and involved in every aspect of my life.
So though there may be some pain, there is promised so much more joy. Keeping my eyes on Jesus, I can walk forward in confidence, knowing his gracious love will be with me wherever I go.

A Little Awkward

Silence on a blog is awkward. Really awkward. It should be that I've been SO busy doing so many amazing things that I haven't had time to blog and NOW I'll come through with something amazing. But that's not really the case. When people have been asking me how my week is, I've just said "long." There has been nothing horrid about the week and nothing too spectacular; it's just been long.

I have passed the halfway point of being at CIU - I took a midterm last week and a test the week before. They weren't very scary. But the bulk of the school work is yet to come.

I took a personality test a little over a week ago and have had a lot of fun delving into what I tested as and what my roommates and friends are. On the Myers-Briggs test I'm an ENFJ and I've discovered that it pretty much captures my interactions with others and how I think and process things.

I've been thrilled to continue working on the World Christian Week task-force to help plan the World Christian week which is the first week of October. I love being able to meet with people and just talk missions and what not. It really makes me happy.

I guess that's the gist of what's going on. The awkwardness has been at least partially broken. Which makes me laugh, because it's SO true in various situations in my life - there is this obvious awkwardness that is evident to all, and someone just has to do SOMETHING to stop the awkwardness and usually that makes things much better and puts people at ease. 

So here's to the awkward situations in one's life.

Theology Proper

Yesterday night and all day today I was in my Systematic Theology class and we were talking about God. It was good, scary and convicting. All things one would expect from time spent talking about God, his character, attributes and works. One big thing that hit me was the concept of his mercy, grace and judgment. We watched a video in which R.C. Sproul stated that we are so used to living under God's mercy and grace that we are surprised when his just judgment comes into play. We are so used to his grace that we forget that daily, if not hourly or minute-by-minute we do things that deserve eternal condemnation. God extends his mercy and sustains us for our every breath, extending his mercy and grace in sustaining us instead of his justice.

And I take it for granted. Daily. I whine when I don't have something. I don't think about my sin as deserving eternal punishment. I don't think of the fact that God's grace sustains me. Wow. He loves me. As someone in my small group said after we watched the video, "It makes me want to fall on my face in prayer." We serve a mighty and gracious God.

The other thing that slammed me in the face is the truth of hell and God's wrath. Other things that I regularly avoid thinking of. There is a real hell where people who do not know or accept Jesus will go. And God is just and right to have such a place. 

We all deserve to be in hell, but God in his grace and mercy sent his Son to take the punishment of my sins. Of the sins of all who will believe.  Do I pray for those who don't know Christ as I should? I don't. I avoid thinking of hell and talking about it because it makes me uncomfortable because then I could be saying those words to someone, and I'd really rather not. Shouldn't I be warning them, shouldn't I be loving them enough to share the full counsel of God's truth? I need to care much more of what God thinks of me then of what others think of me. I need to remember the reality of hell and talk about it to be reminded of the reality and power of the good news.

It's a small world...

At CIU... at least in terms of missions. Tonight I went to a great concert by Spasenie a Christian band from Belarus. During the night they mentioned work that they were doing in Az... After the concert I went up to talk with them a bit more about the work they were doing. It was exciting to hear their heart for the world and what they have seen happening in Az. Then the man introduced me to someone else who had connections with Az, and she immediately introduced me to a guy who had spent the summer there in 2009. Now this guy was there when I went and the guys in our group stayed at his apartment! It was craziness! I even remember meeting him in passing while in Az. It was one of those "whoa" moments that just sort of took me by surprise. Awesome to have these random connections.
On other seminary notes, I've gotten to pray with people in the past two days and that makes me very happy. I miss so much praying with my friends from home, but it is so nice to be in a place where there are so many people who are passionate about prayer and willing to engage in prayer. It's especially nice to have days set aside which are dedicated to prayer. Always happiness for me.

Lunch and Learning

Friday I had the opportunity to have lunch with Dr. Murray, former president of CIU and current chancellor. I had been recruited to be part of the planning committee for World Christian Week (WCW) at CIU and as Dr. Murray is speaking at WCW all the people on the planning committee, along with a few others, met Friday for lunch and to discuss more aspects of WCW. It was awesome. Largely because Dr. Barnett (the head of the intercultural college) was also there and I got to listen to these two amazing men talk MISSIONS!
It was awesome and got me super excited. They talked about the slack of understanding of what missions and mission is and some of the current things happening in the world of missions. I was on the edge of my seat and I'm sure there was a big, silly grin on my face. Few things could make me happier.
The awesome thing is that I will get to meet with students who also have a passion for missions to help plan the WCW. We will get to figure out ways to get people involved and talk about what is important to try to teach people through WCW. So, on a regular basis I will get to talk with fellow students about these issues which are near and dear to my heart. I am really ridiculously happy about all of this. Excited to be able to pull upon my past experience, but mostly excited that I'll get to have at least one more meeting with Dr. Murray to hear him talk about missions more. It's basically amazing in every way.

Swirling and Swirling

This week has had a bump. It took me by surprise and dug up some old fears and uncertainties. I ended up questioning a lot and asking God why. The silly thing was it was nothing major - just God using the circumstances around me to challenge me to trust him and to grow in my relationship with him. Yet I still didn't want it and argued with God over it and used the situation to avoid him.

Then, he drew me to himself. I sat down with a sigh and some fear to begin to pray. And he reminded me he loves me, he reminded me he cares. I don't need to be afraid of him. I know this may sound silly to you (or maybe not) but most of the time when I am avoiding God it is out of fear. Fear that he'll disapprove and shake his head at me, that he'll disapprove of my actions or attitude, that he'll remind of what a far way I have to go to be close to him. But whenever that happens and I just go to him, he always reminds me of his love and grace. He always welcomes me with open hands and beckons me to come and sit with him, to bask in his delight in me and remind me that he sings over me (Zep. 3:17). 

That's the truth of the matter, the truth I quickly forget. The truth that it does not matter what I do, what I've done, where I've been. It's the same truth that saved me: He loves me. He wants to have a relationship with me. He's paid the price to have that relationship. I just must recognize my sinfulness and need and come to him humble, empty and broken. He will delight to shower his grace on me, to call and make me his own, and fill me to the fullest with his love and grace.

Culture Shock

I knew in moving to the south I'd experience some culture shock. I have seen friends go through culture shock in moving from Texas to DC as the pace of life is so different, people act differently, etc. I have also heard missionaries talk about the fact that when they send out nationals within their own country that they experience worse culture shock going from a city to a village then foreign missionaries do in coming to the country.
I think this happens because we're not expecting it. We so often go to new areas and look around and expect people to think, feel and act like us and when we go in with that expectation we are "shocked" by the differences.
I don't know if there's any easy way to deal with this besides what is prescribed for dealing with cross-cultural adaptation - studying the culture, learning the deeper truths behind what is going on, and having a lot of humility because what you're comfortable with and think is "normal" is simply not normal other places. I hope to be able to grow through this. I hope to be able to learn to appreciate the laid back attitude of the South and learn to enjoy their friendliness (which is wonderful when you go to a store and they are just SUPER helpful). I also hope to make some good friendships with southerners so that I can learn to enjoy and appreciate their culture more.
Regardless of the overall culture shock, I think it's important for me to remember grace in this all. Grace for myself as I act VERY much like a northerner regardless of my surroundings, and grace for those around me as they may not act in ways that I expect or like. I think that's a good thing to keep in mind for all the unexpected circumstances in life: grace.

Leadership Conference Notes

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to the NewSpring Leadership Conference thanks to a friend who paid for my ticket. It was geared toward pastors, so I had the amazing experience of having no line for the bathroom while the guys' line snaked through the hallway.
I was blown away by the speakers and the total difference in personality that came out through their preaching style, yet how obviously God was able to use each of them to proclaim his word. I was also greatly amused that they all wore jeans, and one of them was even in skinny jeans.
The day was refreshing. It was great to take some time to get away from everything and be encouraged to be more firmly focused on God and not on the busyness of life. We all need that at some point.
Below are the notes I took (10 typed pages worth). Use at your own discretion.

Perry Noble (speaker)

The Most Important Person in the Room

-       We plan and often forget to bring Jesus into the planning

Look at Joshua 5:13-6:5

à Before God wants to do something great through you, he wants to do something great in you.

First steps for something great:

1.     Recognition

a.     Who: we must recognize who Jesus is.

                                               i.     We must not get so busy that we fail to see/recognize Jesus (Jesus at work)

                                             ii.     We cannot lose sight of Jesus!

                                            iii.     We, as leaders, need to “push” people to recognize Jesus

b.     What: significant spiritual breakthrough. When we get close to Christ, see who he is, we will be near big spiritual breakthrough!

                                               i.     We need to have a bigger vision

                                             ii.     If we are not willing to be uncomfortable, we will eventually become faithful.

                                            iii.     God doesn’t ask us to do easy things.

                                            iv.     The book of Acts is foundation, we should be looking for bigger things

c.     How: spent time alone with God

                                               i.     We will experience/have greater intimacy with God when we spend time along with God

                                             ii.     When he was alone he (Joshua) saw Jesus

                                            iii.     MORE than just your quiet time

                                            iv.     When we are alone we hear his voice

                                             v.     Failure to rest is disobedience

2.     Submission – God tells us the truth, we must listen and obey

a.     Joshua 5:15 – Joshua did what God said

                                               i.     Listen to God and do what he says. Period.

                                             ii.     Preach Jesus, be aware that things are different in different circumstance (what obedience looks like)

                                            iii.     God wants his holiness to touch the nastiness of Joshua’s body (feet)

                                            iv.     We must be obedient to the small things to be trusted with the big things

                                             v.     Where is God asking us to take off our shoes (reveal our nastiness? Pride, anger, fear, insecurity?

                                            vi.     We must be ready/willing to deal with our sin

                                          vii.     Our sin can “shut down” the functioning of your church/ministry

                                         viii.     Keep going back to the cross; be aware and repentant of sin.

                                            ix.     Luke 10:17-20 – do not rejoice that spirits submit… rejoice that our names are in heaven

Mark Driscoll (Speaker)

à If you want God to use you greatly, he must first wound you deeply (Biblical precedent)

-       Will you suffer like Christ?

-       We need to learn to suffer well.

o   We will often suffer because of our faithfulness in ministry

-       We MUST recognize that our suffering is not punishment, it is loving correction from our heavenly Father

Scripture: Ephesians 3:1-13 – essential! Learn how Paul is thinking, suffering

-       Paul is in jail suffering

-       If your church loves you, they will suffer with you

Benefits of Suffering           

1.     Sanctification comes through suffering (Eph. 3:1)

a.     Paul is ultimately a prisoner to Christ, NOT Rome

b.     Everything can/will be used for God’s glory, others

c.      Good. It passes through God’s hands (Heb 2:10)

d.     We will have a hard time being sympathetic and empathetic towards those who are suffering if we have not suffered

e.     Think more deeply in suffering (don’t just feel). Think of Christ’s sufferings.

f.      Jesus suffered. When we suffer we become more like him.

2.     Stewardship comes through suffering (Eph. 3:2-6)

a.     Reminded of what is important when we are suffering.

                                               i.     “Mystery” is Christ alone

                                             ii.     Suffering reminds Paul that he is stewarding a mystery (gospel for the nations)

                                            iii.     If we are interested in anything more than Christ we need to suffer more.

1.     Get away from causes (ministries) and focus on Christ

                                            iv.     We are to steward the mystery of the gospel of Christ. Help make forward progress toward redemption of all peoples

b.     God likes to prune before harvest

                                               i.     We must cut off the fruitless branches so that we can grow more fruit

                                             ii.     Suffering is the means by which God prunes the church

3.     Serving comes from suffering (Eph. 3:7)

a.     Suffering is a wonderful opportunity if we redeem it!

                                               i.     We must continue to think more deeply!

b.     Jesus is our suffering servant

c.     When we are weak, God wants to use us

d.     Suffering is the means by which God wants to use us to serve

e.     Serving comes out of suffering

                                               i.     We learn to appreciate those who serve us

f.      We more deeply appreciate Jesus

4.     Our Speaking comes from our suffering (Eph. 3:8-9)

a.     It changes our speaking/preaching when we suffer

b.     Preachers who preach repentance and don’t practice it are toxic. Be willing to talk about current sin (not just sin that we’ve “conquered”).

c.     Paul preaches out of losses.

d.     As Paul gets closer to Jesus, the more aware of his sin he is. I Cor. 15:9, Eph 3:8, I Tim. 1:15

e.     Paul speaks of his own sin.

f.      If you preach and don’t practice repentance you create a toxic church

g.     Paul’s sin was religious sin

h.     Preach/live out of repentance (Rachel’s note: this was obviously important to Driscoll as he said it MANY times!)

                                               i.     You want changed lives, not religious people

                                             ii.     How much religious sin are you tolerating in your life? In your church?

5.     Showing comes through suffering (Eph. 3:10-12)

a.     The church shows God’s glory!

b.     Paul treasures gospel above all. He is able to have joy in the midst of suffering

c.     God uses church (though nobodies) to bring salvation

d.     Church is where Jesus’ grace, love, mercy is shown

                                               i.     Church is not perfect, but we are still to love it

                                             ii.     Church can cause people to suffer, but should be a place for suffering people.

6.     Sustaining comes through suffering (Eph. 3:13)

a.     We need to learn to suffer well.

b.     Who has betrayed/abandoned us?

c.     How are we handling it?

d.     How have you handled losses, failures, etc.  from those around you?

e.     What is it, who is it, and how will you use it for God’ glory, other’s good?

Jud Wilhite (Speaker)

The Church in the World

-       The Church (people of God) can be used to save/transform lives

-       We are to love the church

-       We must be all in – in loving/serving the church

-       What we’re doing through the local church is the most powerful thing that is happening on earth

John 4 (Woman at the Well)

Vs. 7-9 – Jesus chose to interact with a lowly, five-time divorced woman.

            Jesus is about reaching the broken.

1.     Reach out to the broken and you will always have an audience!

a.     Be willing to connect with people in their pain and brokenness

b.     Remember the Holy Spirit is at work in the lives of those around you

c.     vs. 16-18

                                               i.     Who’s hurting that we can help?

                                             ii.     Who isn’t reached that needs to be reached?

                                            iii.     If you are afraid to reach our, those who are broken will die on the steps of the church

                                            iv.     The more you grow, the more critics you will have

1.     You must stay focused on reaching out! You’ll ALWAYS have an audience, but it will get messy

                                             v.     Major on the majors, not the minors

                                            vi.     Stay in the church to reach to brokenness

2.     See restriction as an opportunity

a.     Go beyond need – use need as an opportunity to share Christ

b.     The need is not a problem, it’s an opportunity

c.     What’s an area that you see as a problem? Reframe as an opportunity to see Jesus work in/through you

                                               i.     Experiencing God working happens through trial/restrictions

d.     Fight the martyr mentality

                                               i.     Fight the thoughts that go “we’re not as good as….”

                                             ii.     Remember to look at what you do have, not what we don’t have

e.     Find the “yes”

                                               i.     Stop looking at the “no” options when there are restrictions

                                             ii.     Don’t stop because of a constriction

f.      Place yourself in high-risk situations in order to see God work (use restrictions in this way!)

g.     God is not calling you to give what you don’t have. We have the power of Christ to give!

3.     Tell the truth in love. John 4:25-26

a.     The bolder I get in telling the truth of who Jesus is, the greater the impact I have

b.     Teach the whole counsel of the Bible in love

                                               i.     Focus on telling the truth about God and men.

                                             ii.     Less programming and props, more Jesus

                                            iii.     Make the focus Jesus, not the preacher or programming

                                            iv.     Don’t apologize for the truth of God’s love

c.     God’s not done!

Judah Smith (Speaker)

In the midst of the pains and problems we should experience calm with Jesus

Matters of the Meantime – in the midst of transition

Mark 4:35-5:1, 6:45-53

àAre we there yet? We’ve done everything we know to do… we’re impatient.

-       We know we’re not “there” but we still question God and why it’s taking so long

-       When is “then” and “when” in these passages?

o   We don’t know how long it will take!

o   We can’t put God on a timetable (or use steps and methods), it’s about a relationship

-       What do you do when you’re not where you used to be, but you’re not where you’re “supposed” to be?

-       How do we handle the meantime (waiting)?

-       History doesn’t record the “meantime”

-       You can do everything right and still have “meantimes”

-       The meantime matter to God. What you do in the meantime determines where you will go.

1.     It is impossible to get ourselves to the other side

a.     God must work in/through us to get us to the other side

b.     We can get embarrassed about the meantime

                                               i.     We sometimes fool ourselves, feel pressured to pretend we are on the “other side”

                                             ii.     We put on masks and pretend it’s ok while we are ready to fall apart

c.     First step to getting to the other side is to admit you’re not there and get help!

d.     We think only the spiritually mature/elite get to the “other side”

e.     Mark 6:52 – God takes hard-hearted people to the other side. It is his grace!

                                               i.     What did the disciples do to “deserve” to get to the other side? They didn’t jump ship. They stayed in the boat.

                                             ii.     Be diligent to stay where God has put you.

f.      Prov. 13:12 – reason people feel like giving up.

                                               i.     Because of delay we assume we are denied (Abraham)

g.     Gal. 6:9 – corporate nature. Encouragement to continue. No timetable, just promise.

h.     It is a good thing to have a friend in the boat to keep you in the boat.

à In the meantime – trust Him, hold on

-       There is NO timetable, we’ve done everything… Eph 6 tells us to stand

-       We’re not missing anything when we have Jesus. We must stay with Him.

-       God will bring us to where He wants us by His strength. Rest in His sufficiency.

Francis Chan (Speaker) à Spoke more from his heart, as encouragement then giving a specific message

John 9:23 – Boast in the Lord, in your knowledge and understanding of the Lord

-       What’s changed in your life? Are we listening and failing to act?

-       It’s about knowing God, lifting His name up and praising Him.

-       Keep eyes open to see things of Jesus, not your own manipulation.

-       We must look to see God’s grace, it is all around us.

-       God listens to our prayers, we must be willing to step our and trust Him.

-       It’s normal to not know what’s happening next

-       If you put my life story in Scripture would it look radical?

-       Do we still believe God wants to do great things in our lives?

o   Do we idolize people in the Bible? They’re just like us! James 5:17

-       Once we’ve made it through, God himself will restore/strengthen/establish me

Phil. 1:27-28

-       God wants to see unity!

o   Strive side by side

o   You are bolder/stronger in a team

-       We should not be frightened of anything

o   We must be bold

-       Our God hears our every little prayer, so why be afraid?

o   Num. 14 – the odds will always be against us

Acts 4:19 – Bold, uneducated

-       Continue in boldness

-       Pray for one another for boldness

Joshua 14:7-12: Be strong and courageous regardless of who follows

Steven Furtick (Speaker)

Sometimes you need to borrow someone else’s faith (for a little while) until you have enough to stand on your own.

àWe ca get so familiar with what used to blow our minds through monotony that we forget how amazing God is.

John 2:1-5

-       Let us never run out of wine (joy)

-       How can we take something that was meant to be magnificent and make it miserable (the church)?

Mark 11:1-6

-       Don’t be afraid of doing something that’s never been done before

-       When you do as Jesus says, it will be just like he told you (vs. 6).

-       It’s ok to say “Jesus told me to”

1.     Do what Jesus tells me

a.     If the information/transformation does not result in action, this is futile (the conference)

                                               i.     We must seek to draw out practical applications

                                             ii.     What am I going to do with what I heard?

                                            iii.     We must step up, step out, and act!

                                            iv.     Immediate obedience is essential

                                             v.     We need specific and immediate obedience

2.     Do whatever Jesus tells me to do

a.     Even (especially) grunt work

b.     Extraordinary moves of God start with ordinary obedience

c.     Nothing is insignificant when done for Christ

d.     It’s normal to not know what’s happening next

e.     Verbally commit to someone who can hold me accountable

f.      God’s past performance is the best predictor of future actions

3.     Whatever he tells you to do, do it

a.     Embrace your uniqueness

b.     Don’t walk in someone else’s footsteps, follow where God is leading you

                                               i.     Don’t mimic someone else’s miracle, mimic their faith

c.     We may be one painful decision away from seeing God’s glory break through

4.     Jesus sends people to do something he has already done

a.     All we need is faith for the first step

b.     Do it like it is already done, because it is

                                               i.     Have confidence that God will get you to where he’s prepared for you

c.     Take the next step. He might not show you the end point, just the next step

d.     Don’t rely on feeling, circumstances. Base faith on Christ alone

e.     Remember to look at what’s been done (God’s work in the past) and rely on God’s faithfulness

àThere’s nothing more powerful then a promise from God

Andy Stanley (Speaker)

We are handing off the church to the next generation (continually); we are part of the marvelous history of the church.

Acts 15: Four Gravitational Pulls of Every Church for Every Generation

- A pull from where things are to where they shouldn’t be…

1.     Churches always gravitate toward insiders and away from outsiders (Jews vs. Gentiles)

a.     Church was never intended to be for “church people”

b.     We must not be overly concerned with making “insiders” happy

c.     Jesus likes people who were nothing like him

d.     We must resist this pull in the planning of services, preaching, etc.

e.     Keep eye on temperature: what kind of complaints (from insiders or outsiders?), how we’re praying (for sickness or lost people?)

à Don’t deceive yourself with attendance! Big church is NOTHING, growing church is EVERYTHING!

2.     Churches gravitate toward law and away from grace (requirements for Gentiles)

a.     Practically and relationally.

b.     Development of “categories” of people makes it easier to slip into law (divorced, black, gay, etc.)

                                               i.     Don’t put people in categories as it causes legalism

c.     Don’t think in terms of categories, think in terms of relationships.

                                               i.     Relationships mess up categories every time

                                             ii.     It’s easier to have categories. Relationships get messy

d.     It’s risk because acceptance looks like approval. Take the risk!

                                               i.     If we’re going to influence we must run the risk of acceptance.

3.     Churches gravitate toward complexity and away from simplicity (following of various O.T. laws)

a.     Be clear about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it

b.     Find what your church is meant for. Do what you do well.

                                               i.     Be what/who God has called you to be

c.     Partner, don’t Pioneer!

                                               i.     Find groups who do things well that you want to join with for service, etc.

4.     Churches gravitate toward preserving rather then advancing

a.     Protect history, resources, way of doing things, etc.

b.     Don’t honor/protect over moving forward.

c.     Don’t be risk adverse

d.     Work toward great commission

e.     Continually think like a church plant

                                               i.     What would we do if we didn’t have any money/land/resources?

à God didn’t call us to protect anything, but to advance his kingdom

4 Commitments

1. Stay more concerned about who we are reaching rather then who we are keeping

2. Always err on side of grace

3. Remain focused on unique calling

4. Remain open-handed (with resources) – fearless in use of resources (people and money)

àWe have the baton of the local church. Do NOT lose the amazement of what God has trusted us with. Be a good steward with it!