It's funny to me that often life is filled with these "in-between" moments: these moments where there is not a great change, but the diligence of daily life. It's these moments where you are waiting and serving where you know God has you, and there is no discernible change on the horizon where complacency can so easily set in - a smug, content attitude where you see no need to improve or grow. Yet God has not called us to complacency; he's offered us abundant life (John 10:10) and said we are to produce fruit (John 15:4-5).
What then, will we do when the complacency sets in? John 15:4-5 says abide - stay in the Word, stay in communication with the Father, seek to grow and seek to produce fruit. I must be honest - in the past few weeks I feel I have been more complacent then fruit-producing or abiding. Yet, I am thankful that I serve a loving heavenly Father who will continue to grow, shape, mold, and pursue me and will continue the work he has begun (Phil 1:6). So as I feel the pull and drift of complacency, may my heart ever be turned to him.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Moving Toward Fear
Yesterday at chapel I shared part of the story of how God is working in my life, the story of some of the struggles I faced in coming to CIU and transitioning to schooling - chronic pain, feelings of being overwhelmed, and contemplating suicide were some of the sordid details, but God's grace in bringing healing, using the body of Christ, and continuing to grow my gifts and talents are the beautiful outcome.
I was a little scared of sharing - not due to the content, but because I was afraid people would think I was over-sharing, that they would not care, or that it would point more towards me then to God. When I expressed some of these fears to a friend, she told me to do it because fear is a common element the devil uses to prevent us from doing what God has called us to do.
I believe God blessed the time of sharing. First, I think sharing openly and honestly one's story tears down walls between people in reminding us that we are all human. Second, I think there is power in our testimonies to allow people to see how God is constantly at work in our lives (and Rev. 12:11). Third, I believe that to overcome fear you must walk in the direction of it - for some reason I believe God wanted me to share this story and he has grown my confidence in him through sharing it.
May we all continue to have courage in overcoming our fears and honestly and humbly sharing how God is at work in our lives.
I was a little scared of sharing - not due to the content, but because I was afraid people would think I was over-sharing, that they would not care, or that it would point more towards me then to God. When I expressed some of these fears to a friend, she told me to do it because fear is a common element the devil uses to prevent us from doing what God has called us to do.
I believe God blessed the time of sharing. First, I think sharing openly and honestly one's story tears down walls between people in reminding us that we are all human. Second, I think there is power in our testimonies to allow people to see how God is constantly at work in our lives (and Rev. 12:11). Third, I believe that to overcome fear you must walk in the direction of it - for some reason I believe God wanted me to share this story and he has grown my confidence in him through sharing it.
May we all continue to have courage in overcoming our fears and honestly and humbly sharing how God is at work in our lives.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Attacked
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God." (Eph. 6:12-13a). Do we think this way?
This past week I faced spiritual attack. I identify it as such, because when I verbally rebuked the devil, telling him to leave, there was an immediate weight that lifted from my heart and soul and the anxiety and fear I experienced left.
I told a friend of mine this experience (and thanked her for sharing this practice with me) and made the comment that I didn't think I had experienced more warfare since coming to seminary. She high-fived me and reminded me that's the way it should be when we're following God.
When we seek to advance the kingdom of God, following where God is leading and seeking to do the tasks he has set before us, the enemy will oppose. The real question is - are we prepared? It's hard to stop thinking like the world - that everything is about us or some sort of psychological phenomena, but the truth is there are powers at work that we do not see. Yet, as we follow our Lord may we continue to learn to recognize (and defeat) the enemy's attacks and grow in awareness of how God is at work all around us.
This past week I faced spiritual attack. I identify it as such, because when I verbally rebuked the devil, telling him to leave, there was an immediate weight that lifted from my heart and soul and the anxiety and fear I experienced left.
I told a friend of mine this experience (and thanked her for sharing this practice with me) and made the comment that I didn't think I had experienced more warfare since coming to seminary. She high-fived me and reminded me that's the way it should be when we're following God.
When we seek to advance the kingdom of God, following where God is leading and seeking to do the tasks he has set before us, the enemy will oppose. The real question is - are we prepared? It's hard to stop thinking like the world - that everything is about us or some sort of psychological phenomena, but the truth is there are powers at work that we do not see. Yet, as we follow our Lord may we continue to learn to recognize (and defeat) the enemy's attacks and grow in awareness of how God is at work all around us.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Longing for Heaven
Saying goodbye to Sarah and Matthew this past week made me long for them to come to CIU and meet people here... or have people from CIU go up and meet Sarah and Matthew. Basically, I was longing for everyone I love and care about to be together and unhappy that it won't happen. Until heaven.
It amazes how quickly and easily I get ticked at things that "don't seem right" here on earth - ones I love being huge distances apart and not knowing each other, sins openly committed, disasters that sweep in and destroy. Yet rarely do I realize that these cultivate a longing for things to be better, for God and for heaven. And that is not a bad desire.
Being reminded we live in a fallen world is essential. It keeps us from putting out hope and security here. We have something much better to look forward to and that should give all Christians great hope. While we wait, we can seek to usher in the kingdom of heaven through being Christ's hands and feet - loving the poor, sharing the gospel, etc. - but having those longings for something better should cause us to be reminded that there is so much more to come.
It amazes how quickly and easily I get ticked at things that "don't seem right" here on earth - ones I love being huge distances apart and not knowing each other, sins openly committed, disasters that sweep in and destroy. Yet rarely do I realize that these cultivate a longing for things to be better, for God and for heaven. And that is not a bad desire.
Being reminded we live in a fallen world is essential. It keeps us from putting out hope and security here. We have something much better to look forward to and that should give all Christians great hope. While we wait, we can seek to usher in the kingdom of heaven through being Christ's hands and feet - loving the poor, sharing the gospel, etc. - but having those longings for something better should cause us to be reminded that there is so much more to come.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Lists and Plans
I love lists. Really, really love them. It makes me feel SOOOO happy to know what I need to do and see things crossed off my lists. Today I found the list I made when I first got here and was amazed to see how many things got crossed off it. It made me happy. It was just a list of things I was going to do in three weeks and it overwhelmed me when I first made it. What amuses me is the thought of what would happen if I saw a list of what I would do for the next year - would it overwhelm me, freeze, maybe cause a panic attack? Quite likely.
I always struggle with this whole "walk of faith" deal that God has called me to; one step at a time, not quite knowing what is next. But then I remember myself and lists. I think if God showed me too much in the future I'd freeze (or have a panic attack). There'd be no way I could see myself accomplishing all that God has before me, so I think he veils it.
God knows me inside out - knows what will strengthen me or hinder me. He cares more about me relying on and trusting him then seeing what "I" need to accomplish. Not only would I freak out if I saw the "list" of what was next, I'd expect that I would be doing it of my own strength and would rely very little on him. So, though I love lists, I'm also thankful for God's guarding my heart and keeping some mystery of the future.
I always struggle with this whole "walk of faith" deal that God has called me to; one step at a time, not quite knowing what is next. But then I remember myself and lists. I think if God showed me too much in the future I'd freeze (or have a panic attack). There'd be no way I could see myself accomplishing all that God has before me, so I think he veils it.
God knows me inside out - knows what will strengthen me or hinder me. He cares more about me relying on and trusting him then seeing what "I" need to accomplish. Not only would I freak out if I saw the "list" of what was next, I'd expect that I would be doing it of my own strength and would rely very little on him. So, though I love lists, I'm also thankful for God's guarding my heart and keeping some mystery of the future.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Constant (God/change)
Today's main point: change continues. Working as a nanny I experienced a lot of change. The kids got older, they had more school and independence and needed me less. When I left for seminary and came back to visit our relationship changed.
Today, the realization hit me that I will be graduating soon (ish). These fun weeks where I get to pretend that I am a kid, throw off all my cares, and do whatever I want will not last much longer. I wasn't aware of how much I still hold onto my independence and ability to do this until I realized the brevity of my time with Sarah and Matthew and how infrequently I will see them again.
Change is funny. It always seems to take me by surprise and never hits quite as I expect. One of my recent prayers has been "Thank you God that you are good, regardless." I need that constant reminder that regardless of my circumstances, God is good. That's the constant in my life, the constant I can hold onto - God in the fullness of his character, and the mightiness of his love. Whether hit by sorrow, grief, or joy God's character will sustain me, grow me and strengthen me through all the changes of my life.
Today, the realization hit me that I will be graduating soon (ish). These fun weeks where I get to pretend that I am a kid, throw off all my cares, and do whatever I want will not last much longer. I wasn't aware of how much I still hold onto my independence and ability to do this until I realized the brevity of my time with Sarah and Matthew and how infrequently I will see them again.
Change is funny. It always seems to take me by surprise and never hits quite as I expect. One of my recent prayers has been "Thank you God that you are good, regardless." I need that constant reminder that regardless of my circumstances, God is good. That's the constant in my life, the constant I can hold onto - God in the fullness of his character, and the mightiness of his love. Whether hit by sorrow, grief, or joy God's character will sustain me, grow me and strengthen me through all the changes of my life.
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