~~~~~This will be a four-part series (at least) dealing with some of the issues I've face as a woman contemplating ministry~~~~~
I grew up in complementarian churches, meaning I could
not imagine a women being a pastor, much less an elder of a church. In fact, I
remember thinking how “unbiblical” it would be for a woman to hold one of those
positions. In high school the church I was going to had a women’s
minister/counselor and a female children’s director. I thought this was really neat as
there were practical things women could do in the church on staff. I struggled with this desire to serve in ministry, and tried to fit it into what I saw and experienced which was, frankly, quite narrow.
My notion of women’s role within the church was quite staunchly complementarian – we were to support our husbands and join in
the ministry they were doing... right? This would need to happen in the realm of marriage, of course. But then something happened. I got out of
college and was still single. I wanted to serve God, but I didn't have a husband to join with. Now what?
After spending some time overseas I saw that the
possibilities there seemed larger for a women – there wasn’t really a role for
“elder” and women seemed to do a lot more without being “unbiblical.” This drew
me to some extent – there was greater need and greater ability to serve (even single!).
A lot of this mindset stayed with me as I entered seminary.
I struggled with this “biblical” concept of womanhood and how it was to look,
and what it was to mean to me, a woman. One of the biggest struggles I continue to face is
that it is emotional – it tears me apart as I so desire to stay true to
Scripture, yet how is that going to look as a woman? Especially (when I entered
seminary), as a single woman? What was I supposed to study? What was my ministry going to look like as I am a woman? And why did this feel like more of a struggle then the men were facing?
And so, the journey (and struggle) would continue within seminary...
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