Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Journey of Forgiveness (Have I failed to Forgive if it hurts again?)

I like to think of forgiveness as a one-time deal - I go through the steps of identifying the sin, make the choice to forgive, and I'm done. I have discovered that this is not always the case. When I've forgiven people for big-deal items (such as forgiving an authority in my life for treating me poorly while in a very vulnerable position) I'm surprised that in the future, when hit with a similar situation the old feelings come up. All the anger, hurt, and fear is there. It does not feel forgiven.
I was reading in Tramp for the Lord by Corrie ten Boom and she wrote about the same thing happening to her. She said she had to remember where she stood before the Lord - she had taken ground in forgiving and the enemy was attacking and trying to move her back, but she must stand firm (Eph. 6).
I liked that comment. I also liked when a friend said that so often when hit with a new situation that stirs up old feelings it means that we are at a place to recognize the deeper level of pain and hurt and come to a deeper place of forgiveness. Will the choice to forgive still stand when we recognize this?
So forgiveness, while in a way a one time deal (the choice must remain solid), in a large way is not. It is  quite normal if old feelings well up again, it is all about how we handle them once they do. We must be faithful to God as we forgive others, even if (and when) the pain is deeper then we expect. We must recognize the large amount we have forgiven, and then extend that forgiveness to others.

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