Goodness of God

These past two days I have been in Atlanta with Proskuneo at their Praise and Worship Institute. It's been so great to have the opportunity to be ministered to by them and have time to rest in God's presence.
What I was surprised to absorb over this time is the clear reminder of God's goodness towards me and his desire to give me GOOD gifts. Not to give me what I want or think would be good for me, but to give me truly good gifts - gifts that will bless me as I could not imagine, gifts that will draw me closer to him, gifts that will be used for his glory. I shy away from thinking of this as I feel that asking for things that I would like from God is very selfish (let me be honest, several times my motives are selfish). But something in these past two days - some of the Scripture read (James 4:1-2 and 1 John 3:21-22), the moments of worship, the extended times with my Father - called to me to ask. So I took a deep breath and asked God for that which has been on my heart (I've prayed about it, but not for it).
I asked and pleaded that it only be so that His kingdom would advance and not that the gift may become an idol (an easy thing to do with God's gifts to me).
I don't know what God's answer will be. And part of me doesn't really care if the answer is "yes" or "no" because I know this - God is good. He will not withhold anything good from me. If this will be to the advancement of the kingdom he will surely bless me with it. If not, He will graciously withhold it so that I do not make the thing more important than God and so I am not hampered in the work He has before me. Realizing His goodness and learning to trust it is a blessedly freeing thing causing me to ask boldly, yet with such confidence in the goodness of God as not to worry about His response.
May my heart and eyes stay focused on God and rest in His goodness.