A Little Smitten

From time to time I become smitten with an author. Sometimes the smitten-ness stays, sometimes it fades. Andrew Murray is an author that I am definitely smitten with and that smitten-ness has stayed over time.
I have a huge book of compiled Andrew Murray books, mostly focused on prayer (making me SOOO happy to read good writing on prayer!). At the beginning of January I started reading his book called Waiting on God. Today's entry was focused on the fact that we are to encourage one another through prayer to wait patiently on the Lord.
This reminded my heart of the truth that we are all waiting. We are not in heaven yet, so things are not perfect. We all have some sort of ache with the imperfections of this world. So we, as Christians brothers and sisters, have the opportunity to encourage each other in this through prayer. How much we share of our heartaches with one another is another matter, but we are not alone in our waiting state.
I will close with Murray's recorded prayer:
Blessed Father, we humbly beseech You, let none who wait on You be ashamed; no not one. Some are weary, and the time of waiting appears long. And some are feeble and scarcely know how to wait. And some are so entangled in the effort of their prayers and their work, they think that they can find no time to wait continually. Father, teach us all how to wait! Teach us to think of each other and pray for each other. Teach us to think of You, the God of all waiting ones. Father, let none who wait on You be ashamed! For Jesus' sake. Amen.

A Sweater for the Week

My winterim class is done. Wow. It was an intense week, but I feel so blessed to have been a part of it!
I was able to be reminded of how much I enjoy psychology, meet some great people and learn so much about what is happening in the field of member care.
Aside from enjoying the learning aspect of the course, I had a little work going on the side:

This is a sweater, or at least the beginnings of one, which I knit away at while in class (if you love knitting and blog's, check out my friend Rebecca's who gave me the yarn for this sweater)

I have never knit a sweater before, or read a pattern, so I started with a little concern but was able to make some great progress. As I was going along in this I was reminded of something Sarah said to me while I was teaching her to crochet over winter break.

We had been talking some about Jesus earlier that day... I don't remember what specifically, but as we were crocheting I was helping her correct some mistakes and reassuring her that it is perfectly ok to make mistakes on her first scarf. I told her it's fine and normal and she's going to learn and not to worry... and she looked at me and  said something along the lines of "You know, knitting is a lot like us and God. We make mistakes, but it's ok because He'll forgive us." I was sort of shocked and surprised by this comparison.

But as I worked on the sweater this week I was constantly reminded of Sarah's words. Making mistakes is ok. God forgives us, weaves in the loose end, and can make something tremendously beautiful mistakes and all. The best part? Most people can't even tell where those mistakes were made.

Knowing you exist in someone else's mind...

Is secure attachment (according to Peter Fonagy). I know, I'm back to the attachment issue.
This comment made me think of the apostle Paul saying "I have you in my heart" (Phil. 1:7) to the Philippian church. He also told them how he remembered them in his prayers (Phil. 1:3-4). Paul also asked others to pray for him (Romans 15:30).
We need to be intentional with our prayers for one another - making certain to hold our friends in our minds through prayer. This connection provides strength and comfort - we are connected to the body through prayer. Others know about us and our praying for us. We are not alone.
This is so true for those going overseas: having a solid support base, having people who will have you "existing" in their mind in prayer allows a overseas worker to thrive in their ministry and work. Those not going need to be intentional about getting to know those going overseas so they can hold them in their minds, join them through prayer. For those going, it is not just a receiving of these prayers and support. Paul modeled a holding of the other in one's mind and this must be done (whether as a group or individuals).
We are to engage with one another in prayer; providing comfort, support and assurance that we truly are part of the body of Christ, wherever we are.

Culture, Attachment and Need

I'm taking a class this week called Home Life Enhancement - a member care class that focuses on a missionary's life within their home: marriage, kids, etc. I'm only on day two, but so far I have thoroughly enjoyed the class.
Today we talked about attachment theory and its implications to people in general and to missionaries in specific. I know psychology can scare many people away with theories and wondering if they're biblical and what-not, but one of the basic concepts of this theory is that we need people. We need to be in community and have people around us who know us and love us. As missionaries, we need to have people from our sending country that if we had to come back for an emergency, we know we could come back to them and even though they may not totally understand everything, they would want to listen.
Whether or not you can wrap your head around the whole theory, the truth is that Christ put us in a body. He did not call us to be separate individuals living for him. I think in our culture we forget this too easily. We think that my pain is my pain alone. We forget that when we suffer, the whole body suffers (1 Cor. 12:26). Whether the body will suffer with us (allowing others to join in our pain through telling them) or because of us (not dealing with the pain and having it manifest itself in other ways) is our choice.
Can we throw off some of our cultural baggage, can we actually admit that we need one another?

Learning Some More

A new semester is about to begin. Tomorrow I'll start a week-long intensive of class every day from 8-5. I'll then have a week off and then start into the normal routine of classes for the semester. It's sort-of shocking to me that classes are starting up again so quickly.

I'm not quite mentally back in South Carolina. This break felt so good in it's simple, regular routine, especially the time with my kids (in case you had yet to figure that out from my other blog posts). It felt so natural and normal to be back there with them and my friends and family, that coming down here is a little bit of a shock to my system again.

I was talking with Jesus about some of this, complaining really. I do this regularly; I start complaining but don't really want to go deep with him. I just want to gripe. Gripe about what was and what I miss. Gripe about the lack of perfection in my life and what's around me. The awesome thing about Jesus is he can take it, and he's so patient with me. He waits and listens, he draws me out. He takes me past the gripes and then penetrates to my heart and the deeper issues revealing sin, fear and insecurity. I totally love that about him. I love that he doesn't let me stay where I am. I love that I can seek him and he is so willing to be found. I love that he knows me inside out and still delights in me.

I always end those time in utter thanksgiving - thankful for a Savior who loves me so and thankful for all he has yet to teach me.

Kids

Being with "my" kids for the past week and a half has been such a blessing. They have challenged me to talk about the end times, heaven and hell in ways that are honest, loving and age appropriate. They have delighted me in talking about and asking about things that we talked about over the past three years - they still remember the apple analogy for the trinity, have their favorite Bible stories they like to hear, and pray in heart-felt and surprising ways.
But best of all they're kids. We've gotten to go on walks with unicorn pegasuses, dragons and fairies, write a fairy tale, and pretend we're flying. We've had our inside jokes and silly antics. They remind me constantly that it's ok to fail and that EVERYONE makes mistakes. And they love me just for being me.
How thankful I am for them and how God has (and still does) use them.

Happy New Year

The new year feels like a time for a deeply insightful blog post. This past year has been a time when God has been teaching me to follow him step by step: to not know all the details, to not know how things will work out, but to continue to follow him exactly where he leads. That's what I want for next year.  Looking back at last year sort of astounds me: I had some health issues (and am still dealing with some of the ramifications), I left a job (and kids) I love, and moved to a new state to start seminary (not knowing what I would study).
So here I am at the beginning of the new year having no idea what the new year will hold, but knowing God will lead, guide and hold me each step of the way. Knowing that following him is an adventure, one in which he will continue to amaze, astound and grow me. I know God will complete what he has begun in me (Phil. 1:6) and that he can and will do amazing abundantly more then all I could ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20).
Happy of happiest new year to you all - may God continue to work in your hearts and life in amazing and astounding ways.