The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Do you ever have those moments when you suddenly realize that what you thought wasn't "such a big deal" really is? I go along telling myself that the dream, friendship, hope, plan, etc. that did not work out really isn't a big deal. I tell myself that God has something bigger and better planned. I tell myself to get over it and move on.
Then there comes that time when I realize it hurts to not get what I wanted and that maybe I wanted it even more then I let myself believe. I was lying to myself.
The first time this really hit me was my second year of college. I had quit swimming a year (ish) ago due to shoulder problems, giving up the dream of being an Olympic swimmer. I had been coasting on the idea that it "wasn't a big deal" for that year (plus) until various circumstances prevented me from living with the lie I was telling myself and sent me into a dark depression.
I cried out to God (and got some good counseling) and I learned to grieve, mourn and give up some of my dream. But that process of grieving, mourning and giving up was not a one time thing. Nor will it ever be a one time "done" deal. I have far too many dreams and the world we live in is far too broken not to have more shattered dreams. Some of these are big, but many more of them are so small that I feel a little petty confessing that realizing it would not happen hurts as it does.
But when I recognize the lies and admit and confess them to God, I take a step of faith and trust Him - trust His goodness and His wisdom. I also talk to people who have lived longer and seen God work in more ways then I have. Through it all I grow - in recognizing the ways I deny the truth about my feelings, in dependence on God, and grow in my understanding of God's love for me in wanting to keep me living in the light of the truth.