Coming home from the honeymoon I was looking forward to
opening the wedding gifts. My house was going to be a mess, several boxes left
to unpack, we would be getting back from a four hour car ride… but the gifts
were what I was looking forward to.
And they were not there.
For various reasons, after the wedding they made it to
another house for safe keeping and not ours.
I was devastated. I know it’s silly – what does it matter to
wait a little bit to open your gifts? – but I was. I just have such the mind
set of structure and order that when my plans don’t go my way I can have a bit
of a melt down.
I feel like the devil often knows my weak spots better then
I do – he knew the amount of fatigue Magnus and I would be under, the stress of
unpacking I would have to face, and he just decided to hit me in this weak
spot. I have to confess, I did not handle it the best.
These “little things” are more spiritual warfare then I
often will admit. It’s hard for me to stand firm, have grace, hope and love
when I’m tired and exhausted. It’s hard for me to allow God to put things into
perspective, surrender my will to his, and rejoice at all times (Phil. 4). It’s
really hard.
But this is God’s calling. We are not to live defeated lives
– allowing the circumstances to dictate our actions. We are to live firm and
secure in the truth of God’s Word – putting on our armor and learning to
advance in new territory.
May I continue to learn to live in surrender before my Lord
and God.
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