I've been reading through the gospel of John and have been simply amazed at Jesus' demonstration of his love. I mean, he went to a wedding and made sure the party kept on going (John 2) and pursued someone who was considered an "outcast" of society (John 4). Jesus clearly loves people, and that's true about me (and you).
As I was driving and thinking about this love I recognized I was struggling with the pictures I see painted in the Bible. Jesus is so kind, good, and lavish in his love. But I'm still struggling to rest in it. As I contemplated this, a thought struck - how do I love God?
My mind flitted to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
What I was confronted with is this - when I face circumstances I am not patient or kind with God, I demand my timing (and do so harshly). When God grants me something I am often arrogant and rude. When I see that God gives someone else something I want, I am envious.
Mostly, though, when it comes to my relationship with God I insist on my own way and then grow resentful and irritable when it does not occur.
I feel like there are so many more ways I fall short in loving God, accepting his way, and surrendering my hopes and dreams to him. The amazing, God-given part of this all? He's still reminding me daily that he loves me. He is still showing me how he loves through the written word, through many friends, and through the convictions and promptings of the Holy Spirit.
Whether or not I love God well, his love for me does not end.
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