Whining to God

I was spending my lunch yesterday with Jesus and getting ticked mostly because it's been awhile since I've felt the Holy Spirit speak to me and the last times he did I was NOT being still and waiting (as Psalm 37:7a encourages us to do), I was whining and complaining. So, there I was, trying to be still before the Lord so that he would respond - note that YES I was trying to manipulate God by doing something so he would respond. Not good. Anyways, as I was attempting to be quiet before the Lord I started complaining, bugging him about speaking to me and wondering why it was ONLY when I complained.
The response I got? "Because that's when you're honest." It surprised me, and let me clearly say that this is not Bible truth, this is about my relationship with Jesus and the sins of my heart. But the value that God places on honesty surprised me. But that's how David was in the Psalms, right? He would complain, moan, and be honest... yet always turn back to God.
Now, I'm not advocating or saying that you will get a response if you complain to God. But I think God, in his grace, mercy and relationship with me realizes that when I am yelling and complaining I'm quite frustrated and determined. At that point, for me, I tend to grab on and beg, holding nothing back and being honest about the fact that I want a response and all pretense of me being good, kind, and worthy of a response is gone. Case in point - my prayer to God about wanting to know who my future husband is was an irritated cry of frustration, not a loving plea.
My prayer yesterday - an irritated, frustrated laying aside of all pretense at holiness and complaining. God knows me inside out and out of his grace, will often speak to me at my whiniest to reveal that it is truly a his grace to me, and nothing of my own.
Praise the Lord for his grace and his personal care for me.