Destroying Secrets

I have never fully realized the power a secret has, until I told Magnus one. In Magnus' and my relationship something had happened that I had kept hidden from him - embarrassment and shame grabbed hold of me and I wanted to hide the truth. I wanted to pretend that it didn't impact anyone but me.

So I continued in that belief - falling more in love with him and journeying with him. But as the semester ended and I had more time to sit before God the secret came to my mind more and more. I didn't really want to tell him. I knew I would have to at some point... but not now.

The day my friend called and encouraged me (see this post), that afternoon I finally broke down and told him. He asked how long I had kept it from him and why I hadn't come to him sooner. Fear and shame were my only answers. It was then that I realized that this secret had trapped me and kept me from him, and from God. 

I didn't even realize the devil's lie - that it was too shameful, that I was to blame, that I should be able to handle it on my own - until telling Magnus. As soon as it came to the light, there was a sense of relief and freedom. What had separated us was gone, God was free to work between us to bring healing.

He will, I'm confident of this, because that's what his word promises (James 5:16). God is bigger then the fears that haunt us, and what comes from the darkness into the light no longer had power over us.