Sunday, August 28, 2011

A Slice of My Story (Hard Work in Maturing)

One of the biggest growing/maturing time in my life came through my experience in Indonesia. After having a challenging time in Indonesia where I felt abandoned, mistreated, and ignored I had to come back and face some people in the states who had caused much of this pain and deal with issues such as forgiveness and reconciliation. I realized quickly that there would be choices I would have to make through the process. I could choose to pretend that those who hurt me hadn't really impacted me - put on a facade that though they are so awful, God is good and everything is peachy-keen. I could choose to be angry and bitter and fight them tooth and nail - hold onto the pain and allow it to eat away at my soul until I was a seething, bitter, angry fool. Or I could choose to fully face the pain and acknowledge the fullness of the hurt these people caused me, question why God did this, and submit to His Word in recognizing His sovereign control, wisdom and the extent in which He forgave me freeing me to forgive those who had hurt me.
I had at that point already seen what happened to people who choose the path of ignoring the pain (often end up having a break down later in life) or bitterness (not fun people to be around) and I did not want that for my life, so I took the Bible and begged for God's grace, love and courage to forgive and grow. It was not easy; dealing with hurt and pain never is. It took work, God's grace and many of God's people to walk me through that time, yet God has produced fruit in me from that and has grown me through that in ways I never could have imagined. Is maturing hard and painful? Yes. Is it worth the work to know and love God more deeply? Most definitely.

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