I struggle to embrace some aspects of who I am. Case in point: I am a planner (Myers-Briggs language: I am a J). I like to make lists, think through how to get things done, and do them. In fact, I have already started knitting Christmas presents. Yes, I am thinking of Christmas in August.
I struggle because there are many people who don't plan as I do, who look at me like I'm really over prepared (which I often am) and a little crazy (again, often am). So I suppress it. I try to relax and let things go more. Don't get me wrong - being super uptight about one's plans and holding onto them tightly is NOT a good thing. But planning is not bad.
As I was knitting the thought hit me that God had to have a lot of things planned out for Christ to come when He did, as He did. A lot of planning went into Christ's ministry on earth. Yes, there was a lot of flexibility, but there were certain plans in place, too.
With that thought I was convicted of trying to suppress who God's created me to be - trying to be more like some mythical "other" who is more "holy" in some way then I am. I forget that God specially made me (and you) to reflect an aspect of who He is - no one (except Christ) fully displays His character, so I must strive to fully embrace the strengths God has given me, recognize the weakness, and lean on His grace and the Body of Christ to fill in the gaps.
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