It hit me last night that this theme of my need of God's grace has continued to come up - specifically learning to lean into God's grace and walk in confidence in his grace and love for me. Usually when I see an area that I want to grow and change in I set about learning; seeking out any sin issues that may be involved, watching for behavioral manifestations, bringing it before friends for prayer, seeking out the truth of Scripture, and coming to God with it.
Well, let me say that having to repent for not living in God's grace is like repenting from legalism - there's really not much I can "do" in those terms except lean into God. It just feels different, and I feel God seeking to bring me to a point of relaxing and leaning into Him. I also realized that if this is something deep and that I am going to learn well it will really take time (hmm, is that more work talk on my part?). I'm not talking days or weeks, I'm talking a year (or more).
I don't know why, but that's sort of scary to me to think about looking at God's goodness, grace and mercy for that long... like I'll miss something more important I should be doing. That probably means it's something that I really need to do - to just sit at God's feet; to sit in the Word and soak up the glorious riches of God's grace, mercy and love.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
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