Lists and Plans

I love lists. Really, really love them. It makes me feel SOOOO happy to know what I need to do and see things crossed off my lists. Today I found the list I made when I first got here and was amazed to see how many things got crossed off it. It made me happy. It was just a list of things I was going to do in three weeks and it overwhelmed me when I first made it. What amuses me is the thought of what would happen if I saw a list of what I would do for the next year - would it overwhelm me, freeze, maybe cause a panic attack? Quite likely.
I always struggle with this whole "walk of faith" deal that God has called me to; one step at a time, not quite knowing what is next. But then I remember myself and lists. I think if God showed me too much in the future I'd freeze (or have a panic attack). There'd be no way I could see myself accomplishing all that God has before me, so I think he veils it.
God knows me inside out - knows what will strengthen me or hinder me. He cares more about me relying on and trusting him then seeing what "I" need to accomplish. Not only would I freak out if I saw the "list" of what was next, I'd expect that I would be doing it of my own strength and would rely very little on him. So, though I love lists, I'm also thankful for God's guarding my heart and keeping some mystery of the future.