I've been struggling this week with my time with Jesus. I've felt really busy and overwhelmed and have let slip what should be the highest priority. I have also believed this inkling lie that slipped into my thoughts. It's said "You don't need more time in the Word. That's weak. You shouldn't need to keep reading it for help. You'll be fine. Just keep going." Thinking about it today I finally realized how absolutely crazy that lie is. But it also made me recognize my pride.
I often feel weak and helpless when I come to God looking to be filled. I feel like I should be bringing more - more energy, more passion, more love. I feel like needing something from God, something so simple like hope, energy, or love are signs of weakness which equates in my mind with being useless.
Thankfully, Paul leaves a great example to follow, saying he will gladly boast in his weakness, for when he is weak then he is strong in Christ (2 Cor. 12:10). So as the weaknesses continue to become blaringly obvious in my life, I will take hope that my God uses weakness and brokenness, and run to him for help; learning to continually humble myself and accept the grace he desires to pour out.
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