Uncomfortable Love

Over the years God has challenged my perception of love via his Word, friends and books.
One important thing I have learned is that love is not about me or how I feel. Hollywood portrays love as this thing that's supposed to make you feel wonderful all the time... but true love is hard. It means really considering others' needs, serving them, and thinking of them before yourself.
But one of the things I think that hit me hardest was realizing loving someone well means accepting them fully as they are and not trying to force them to meet some need you may have within yourself. People are made up differently. Different people have different capacities for friendship; some people won't want to have a deep friendship that you desire, some people may not be capable of it. There may be people who just have a habit that absolutely drives you crazy. But to love, to truly love others, means accepting them as they are, knowing what your limits are and learning to recognize their limits... and then freely loving them as they are. It isn't easy. It means realizing that a person may not respond as you wish when you unburden your heart. It means allowing someone you had been friends with, or had wanted to be better friends with, to go because they just don't want it.
It doesn't mean despising the person, treating them unkindly, or avoiding them. It means accepting them fully as they are - including what they can and cannot give. To love others well (to love them freely), you must love them out of a place of security in your relationship with God and from a place of stability with relationships with others. Something we all can learn and grow in... I know I am.